A few weeks ago I found these two articles:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/10-guys-you-should-never-date
&
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/10-women-you-should-never-date
Let me first say, I like lists. I like making to-do lists. I like making things-I-want-to-accomplish lists.
I like definitions.
I also like dating. I believe in getting to know people.
But these two articles hit me. They made me sad, and hopeless. I don't know why, but they impacted me more than I wanted. Or thought was possible for a set of words written on the internet could do.
These two articles left me with questions no one can answer. And that made me upset.
I like answers.
I guess I should sum them up for you, if you haven't read them.
The two lists, one of men, and one of women, outlines qualities/personas of hypothetical people that you meet, and shouldn't put on your radar. Each of them have explanations as to why you shouldn't date them, but I'll give you the bullet points.
Men you should never date:
The sort of spiritual guy.
The not that into you guy.
The you'll make a great sidekick guy.
The on again, off again guy.
The out of sight, out of mind guy.
The keepin' my options open guy.
The let's get physical guy.
The I don't want to grow up guy.
The track record guy.
The white lies guy.
Women you should never date:
The one way street woman.
The you complete me woman.
The crippling insecure woman.
The way too critical woman.
The wishy-washy woman.
The micromanaging woman.
The unconnected woman.
The drama victim woman.
I suggest you read them, because there are good points. And I think they were written with good intentions. But rather than promoting patience, and grace, and forgiveness in dating they portray every man/woman you could meet to be undatable. Having eighteen categories for people we meet subconsciously creates standards that we shouldn't have. It gives us the okay to gossip, and point fingers at people about what we perceive of them from the moment we meet.
And it gave me the thought of categorizing myself. Which one of these eight women, am I? I sat there, reading them over and over, trying to pin point myself. Trying to make myself one of these. And that's not okay. These are my faults, I like categories. I like when things are defined. I want a dictionary giving me the definitions to emotions.
Greater than that, I want to lend a hand to everyone. I want to walk along side of the categorized. Because as much as I want definitions, or lists, or answers, that is not what grace is.
Grace is unexpected and undeserved and it is generous.
We are all a mixture of these.
We are all a mixture of the opposite of these.
We are all wanted.
We are all loved.
We are all beautiful.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/10-guys-you-should-never-date
&
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/10-women-you-should-never-date
Let me first say, I like lists. I like making to-do lists. I like making things-I-want-to-accomplish lists.
I like definitions.
I also like dating. I believe in getting to know people.
But these two articles hit me. They made me sad, and hopeless. I don't know why, but they impacted me more than I wanted. Or thought was possible for a set of words written on the internet could do.
These two articles left me with questions no one can answer. And that made me upset.
I like answers.
I guess I should sum them up for you, if you haven't read them.
The two lists, one of men, and one of women, outlines qualities/personas of hypothetical people that you meet, and shouldn't put on your radar. Each of them have explanations as to why you shouldn't date them, but I'll give you the bullet points.
Men you should never date:
The sort of spiritual guy.
The not that into you guy.
The you'll make a great sidekick guy.
The on again, off again guy.
The out of sight, out of mind guy.
The keepin' my options open guy.
The let's get physical guy.
The I don't want to grow up guy.
The track record guy.
The white lies guy.
Women you should never date:
The one way street woman.
The you complete me woman.
The crippling insecure woman.
The way too critical woman.
The wishy-washy woman.
The micromanaging woman.
The unconnected woman.
The drama victim woman.
I suggest you read them, because there are good points. And I think they were written with good intentions. But rather than promoting patience, and grace, and forgiveness in dating they portray every man/woman you could meet to be undatable. Having eighteen categories for people we meet subconsciously creates standards that we shouldn't have. It gives us the okay to gossip, and point fingers at people about what we perceive of them from the moment we meet.
And it gave me the thought of categorizing myself. Which one of these eight women, am I? I sat there, reading them over and over, trying to pin point myself. Trying to make myself one of these. And that's not okay. These are my faults, I like categories. I like when things are defined. I want a dictionary giving me the definitions to emotions.
Greater than that, I want to lend a hand to everyone. I want to walk along side of the categorized. Because as much as I want definitions, or lists, or answers, that is not what grace is.
Grace is unexpected and undeserved and it is generous.
We are all a mixture of these.
We are all a mixture of the opposite of these.
We are all wanted.
We are all loved.
We are all beautiful.
The fact that our heart yearns for something Earth can't supply is proof that Heaven must be our home
C.S. Lewis